Tomorrow is the day

When we hand in the stuffs. Friday would have been the last day had it been that they did not graciously give us an extra day.

Mew screwed by choosing to go yesterday. The Office of Admissions wasn't open. Luckily, we checked before we went. I would imagine uncle ranting at her really badly if we really went and found that it was closed for the weekends. It's not her fault anyway, having a performance to go for. Darn I should have gone...I have been missing CO practices and all their performances so far...Doesn't reflect very well on me.

Been scouring around for portfolios, videos and the like for those people who want to go into the course too...I am really in awe by some of the standards of these people. In comparison, my portfolio and video is just so common. It was just like the feeling ages ago when I went for a faculty test at Temasek Polytechnic. Everyone brought out their secondary school artwork which seemed glamourous. Mine paled in comparison. I ought to have learnt a lesson or two back then...

Seriously, what have I been doing for the past 2 years where hardly any trace of Art came into my life other than the occassional doodles and the random musical compositions? Alas for that too, I only have a Grade 6 piano, Grade 5 theory. And for theory...I forgot every single thing to it, maybe only the basics like note reading. We never learnt composition at all, all the music teachers I have gotten hates it to the core. This actually pulls out a lot of purpose from learning music theory. Come on, what's the use of analysing countless of musical scores other than to understand their style, learn to appreciate what's good for you and then try hands-on on gaining self-satisfaction by attempting to compose your own piece? I totally flopped my Grade 7 and 8 practical, and then decided to take a break to think about what went wrong before I try to fly again. Till now, I don't dare to ask my parents to sponsor continuing my music education yet. I think I still need time to pick up piano once more.

Seriously, I am one very confused person. Art and music seem to be parallels. My love for them is there, but I am really unable to express it that well. I don't understand why! Plus the similar thing about them is that they have so many styles due to their history! God save me from the misery of trying to master them all. What's more, I don't know what to specialise in. I like manga styled drawings but I am also very picky about what I would want to draw, because with manga comes a link to Japanese culture and that's not really what I want to pick up totally.

I haven't tried life drawings much yet, and so far, haven't really attempted one more other than the one I am going to submit, but doing life drawings seem to be really cool and teaches you a lot about proportions. Seriously, I have trouble drawing eyes symmetrically. Most people do. I however picked up a method that I devised on my own, to flip the paper and see the drawing from the other side. Often, our vision is limited by one perspective, and I have learnt to look at it from the other side as well. Works for me at least.

I think I lost my direction in life for everything since Secondary school, with absolutely no one to guide me. Ever since I moved in with my parents, gradually losing contact with my extended family, and a mentor in my life left for her home country. I kept encounting problems in my path, and I started to ask myself if things would be worth it if I did this, did that.

As I draw out my life details on the upside of the paper, I seemed to have failed.
On the other side, though, it was just that I have drawn it slightly off and needed to patch the other side.
The question is, how easy is it to really see the other side and then make a correct judgement on the patching?