I'm never alone...

I pretended to sleep in front of her. Yet, I know it is wrong. I forgot to bring the assignment to guide me along, and I have been as lost as a sheep for ages already. I guess next lesson I will get my NMR Spect worksheet ready.

Currently being stuck outside of school, have to go back in a while more. It can get lonely at times, I guess I'm not fated to have friends who I can go along with. Yet, I see friends around most of the time, today during PE lesson I met one of my fellow AHS friends too, so I'm never really alone, even though I usually walk around doing stuff on my own. We'll make it a point to go back to AHS during Teacher's Day or any events, and maybe I will also find Twiggy and Mew too and introduce her to them, after all, we are ex-AHS people. Terra looks out for me at times when she's free and near school. And Jigglyn-jie and I do sms and talk over the phone when we are bored to no end in our lives.

What's Terra up to, I do not know, but she's really good at compiling notes for her subjects to study. Smart way to go, I ought to learn from her. Gonna photocopy my notes to let her compile notes too. I hope Terra is not up to something evil, but I guess I can trust her on this one.

My friend has a split personality, which she uses to her advantage to keep the negativities of being lonely away. Humans are naturally social creatures, after all, even if she chose to be anti-social, there is a longing for company present in her. I don't really hang out with her out of pity or empathy, I regard her as a friend, but whenever I observe her I cannot help thinking that I should treasure my friendships even more. Now I'm learning to distract myself from fearing school. It's been getting better, I miss less of school as my headaches don't come often nowadays.

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Guildwise, more people have been voting Blitz out from rejoining us. I have to admit that I would very much like him to rejoin due to a few reasons, even though some of his past actions may be wrong:

1) He created the forums and added in most of the structure
2) He's smart (He's from RI)
3) There is not much for me to fault on his attitude - he willingly gave up his admin status to have a chance to rejoin us. Definitely not a snob.
4) He does not hold grudges - he says that even if we do not accept him back he will be alright with the decision
5) Simply, he is a friend

Since 8 votes of no is against 1 vote of yes, I guess he'd not be fated to rejoin.

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Mew's B-day is coming, time to find present for her liao...

^_^

I love Terra =D She just drew me a Jigglypuff-cum-Purine picture. And it's sooooooo cute =3

I find that I tend to be myself when I am with my really really close or like-minded friends. It's like I can act as me, someone who's quite clueless at times, or someone who can laugh like crazy over little things. As I took the bus back home a second time from TPJC, I can't help feeling a bit bottled up in the presence of my schoolmates, even when I'm in home clothing.

Terra would not be your ordinary girl. She shares the same birthdate with me and some similar personality traits too. And she loves miaow-ing. I don't get irritated but I do get perplexed by it. She does seem to enjoy the results.

Terra keeps claiming that she likes evil characters, and likes the dark side perhaps, but I don't see anything evil about her. She's nice, really, and it's genuine. I cannot say the same for others, maybe I don't know them enough, or I feel immediate unease in their company.

I've been told I need to forget about my past to move forward. Good god, give me the strength to do so.

Hmm...been wondering, is God perfect? Sounds blasphemous, but it's good to question right?

Sigh no 2

I don't know if it would be better for me to be like a woodblock, totally devoid of opinions. Something or someone seem to pick on you all the time. Especially Erim, who will never let go of the computer even for very important stuff until he wants to. But Erim helped me get my cheery mood back by telling me about something that I have overlooked while I was all concentrated on why I tend to attract a lot of negative attention and getting all depressed because of my past.
Anyway, just shot a msg to someone. I dunno what the person will think about it. If the person still reserve those thoughts about me, then I'll do as Erim has just told me, just take it as a joke, and live on.

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I cannot help that some people love to gossip. How careful can one get? Maybe I think too much lah..crap..What's so great about me?
Wait, am I trying to degrade myself?
Life is just such a paradox at times.

Sigh...

I don't realise that I can be extremely annoying at times...
But I think it is better that I know that than to be kept in the dark.

It's not that I'm too sensitive or introverted, but I am aware of stuff around me even if I look blur. The truth sometimes can really hurt. People usually say well of you but there is always the other side of things that you don't know about.

Sometimes I wish I can fly away. Or blend into the background to quietly observe the likes of others, because I simply won't fit in.

Update?

It's been a really long time since I posted.

Been into Maplestory for quite a bit, now that I'm a level 70 Priest, am taking a break from the training to catch up on studies and life issues, and also partly because of recent events such as Council LTC and SC Investiture 2006. Time for us J2s to take a backseat and concentrate for the A levels.

Hope everyone will still be together sometimes even though we won't be working together as council from now on. If I had to do it all over again, I wish I had trusted more and opened up from the start. It's tough to find a bunch of caring people, and I hope it's for real.
It's been rather rough for the past few days, with tempers fraying, nerves stressed out over the rehearsals, and eyes welled with grief as we begun to accept that 20th council will be "dissolved"...Finally though, it is over and forever in our memories.
I can still vividly remember the past days when we were freshly elected and went through the council camp. Just deleted a rather unique yet embarassing blog after not being able to find a way to lock it up with password. I guess some things that I have done can be kept inside of me. But one thing, if I had to do it all over again, I wish I had trusted more and opened up from the start.

I believe that the 21st council will soar and continue bringing important changes to TPJC. Had a wonderful time with them during the camp, and am happy to have interacted with one of the groups during orienteering.

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Gotta start writing the GP essay.
One last thing, here's my character ---->

To heck with when the next update is coming (^_~)